Grace Coffee Shop...........Lost my Temper" (First Trip to Thailand) It was my first trip to Thailand , many years ago (1978) when I was a lot younger, and at a time when the Grace Coffee Shop was all the rage for whorists , so much so that it appeared as a featured article in the Time Magazine ! So, based on Graces reputation, I booked in there on my arrival. As soon as I’d dropped my bags in my room I headed down below to the infamous Coffee Shop. On entering this huge area , I found , much to my delight sweet Thai pussy, everywhere , wall to wall. I'd never seen such a place before in my life. I’d say, at least one hundred or more girls sitting around drinking coffee, or was it beer, yes a lot seemed to be drinking beer. A first for me, seeing women in a country drink beer just like men. My first encounter was with Klosters beer. What a brew, my first impressions were good. Everything was going along smoothly, when I spied a real cutie sitting at a table with two others , so I approached their table and yes they invited me to sit down, everyone very smiley. Thailand , land of the smiles, here I am. After passing through the usuals : ‘where you from’, ‘what your name‘, etc I made an offer of Baht 100 all night to the cutie of my choice. This price was given to me by a German guy I’d met in the Philippines the week before. Well, I wish I’d never met that German, cause all hell let loose when I mentioned 100 Baht. "Outside, fuck the dog" screamed my little cutie, beckoning towards the door. "Outside fuck the dog" she repeated again. She hollered it out loud enough for a lot of people in the Coffee Shop to here. Naturally I was then the centre of attention , and for the wrong reasons. Everyone in the Coffee Shop, foreigners included, seemed to be looking at me. I was dumbfounded by her reply, one minute dainty, smiley, the next screaming at me to go outside and fuck a dog. Either she was one of Graces most expensive lays or I looked like someone who fucked dogs : ) In the meantime, I realised that I had not received my change from the waiter. I’d given him a very large note and there was considerable change yet to come my way. First lesson in Asia, don’t pay with large notes. So, with nothing better to do, I started making signs to the waiter to bring my change back. He ignored me. Perhaps, by now I was the resident asshole and didn’t deserve any change ? Anyway, it was a good excuse to leave the embarrassing table , and so I went across to the bar and again requested my change ,which was about four times what I’d offered ‘cutie’ (Baht 400). The waiter ignored me and kept getting drinks for others. So, I did a silly thing and lost my cool, challenging the guy to come outside and have a fight. I can’t fight my way out of a paper bag and I’m glad he did not take me up on my offer, preferring to ignore me and carry on serving other people. A second waiter cooled the situation down by presenting me with my change. Boy, was I off to a bad start in Thailand. I do not recommend anyone reading this to 1. lose your cool in Thailand and/or 2. offer to fight someone, cause it will not be a one on one fight. A Thai mob will join in and finish you off, make no mistakes. When in Thailand, do as the Thais do - keep cool. Of course, on rare occasions Thai’s lose their cool and when that happens its real nasty. I was told some time after this incident , that two Germans were murdered outside the same door cutie had pointed to. The Germans took on some Thais, but the numbers soon grew and they (Germans) were stabbed to death. It doesn't happen often, but it can happen. Stay cool when in foreign lands : ) However, being a devil for punishment, I bought some more beers with my change and headed back to my cuties table and sat down handing out the beers. There was silence for a while, then one of the girls asked me "why you angry", to which I replied, "me crazy". This broke the silence, we drank more beers, and then when the original cutie realised that her girl friend was starting to show too much interest in me, she suggested we go to my room, no mention of money this time. Once in the room cutie relaxed and became a charming hostess. My impressions of Thailand had vastly improved by the time the sun had risen the next morning. Amazing how a bit of pre sex tension can help one get ones rocks off ! Thus began , on an unusual note, my romance with Thailand, which has continued to this day. PS: 1. The correct all night rate at the time was , I think - Baht300. 2. I discovered on later nights that this lady was very much in demand by other Foreigners. The next evening one guy in particular tried to take her off me whilst she was in my company. She didn't go with him , she said - "he no money" : ) She stuck with me until I left for Pattaya , which is the subject of the next short story , right here ............ 2nd Story : "Refused Entry Pattaya" I had another unusual experience on my first trip (1978) to Thailand. In addition to the Grace Coffee Shop experience written above. I learnt a lot on my first trip : ) I was eating an early morning meal , at a respectable restaurant in Beach Road Pattaya one day, when I spied a lonely chick on the opposite side of the road watching me through the restaurant window enjoying my breakfast. She looked hungry and so I felt guilty and motioned to her through the window to come and join me, and this she did. In silence , she dined well ,and was appreciative of my kindness. On completing breakfast, she accompanied me to my hotel . On arrival at my hotel about four Thai guys rushed towards, us motioning, "no no" , that is - the lady can not come in. I couldn’t believe they were serious, but they were. So, in the end my companion walked off , calmly accepting rejection. I was angry about this ,and told the guys who did not offer any explanation or apology just that , and checked out of that hotel immediately. I wasn’t going to be told who could and could not accompany me to my room. With my next accommodation , and during the remainder of my stay in Pattaya, I did not have any more similar problems with my guests. But it wasn’t until some time later that the penny dropped , and I realised that the lady refused entry into my hotel that day was in fact a man , a katoey/transvestite in other words, and the hotel staff who I cursed at the time should have been congratulated , cause if the she/he (katoey) had entered my room, no doubt I would have been at risk of being robbed or whatever. Apart from the embarassment : ) Anyway fortunately, to that point of time in my whoring history , that is as close as I’d got to finding out I’d got a man in the room instead of a woman. I’ve been careful since. Knowing the tell tale signs is helpful : big hands, feet, adams apple, voice and for me - hard eyes. Reckon I can pick a trannie (transvestite) by the eyes. Note the he/she (katoey) sat in silence at the breakfast table. Didn’t want to speak , as I might have picked up on a false voice : ) However, you would not believe it , a couple of years later in Hatyai Thailand I fell for the same trap in the same way, ie , a he/she not talking and me taking it home, and this time gaining entrance to my room, but then getting an uncomfortable feeling when the he/she looked me in the eye under the bright lights. Within 30 seconds of entering the room I handed the suspect "he/she" a hundred baht, opened the door, smiled and the "he/she" departed , knowing full well the penny had finally dropped/the game was up - I knew. Amazing how calmly the he/she accepted the rejection. No doubt 'it' has been ejected from rooms in a more robust way by others and preferred my smile and Baht 100 to a kick up the rear : ) Phew !!! Lesson No. 1. , Lesson No.2 . - get them talking !!!! --- Since then , no problems mistaking katoeys for ladies.